Of Mice and Men

The best-laid schemes o’ mice an ‘men 

Gang aft agley,

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,

For promis’d joy!

 As you can see, I’m feeling a bit dramatic this morning. So dramatic I wanted to include this verse from Burns’ poem, To A Mouse in it’s original language, instead of just glibly quipping “The best laid plans of mice and men,” and then telling you about Rebeka’s surgery Tuesday.

That’s right, another surgery, next Tuesday. Oh, we had big plans. I was hopeful that in the next two weeks she’d reach that one mile goal. I have that fancy little chart, we’ve been tracking her distance and speed, you who read the last post know all this. And so you see that an unexpected surgery is not part of my grand plan.

It’s a minor surgery this time, to lengthen something on the back of her right heel (a tendon?) so that we can get the angle of her ankle to ninety degrees. This is really important, and we need to get it right before we send her home. So maybe her departure date will change. She’ll be in a cast for two weeks, and we won’t know how her foot will feel when we take it off. Will we be dealing with major foot sensitivity again? Will it take weeks before she can put pressure on it? Don’t know.

I have friends going through hard things right now. I join them in going through my own hard thing. And still the wind blows outside the window, the birds sing and the world keeps turning. Rebeka took the news in stride when we found out yesterday. After a few questions, she was eager to run down the hall and try to get the electric hospital doors to open. And I mean it, a walk so fast it definitely classifies as a run in my book. She is still big smiles. She takes each day as it comes, with whatever joy or sorrow it may bring, and once again, I’m learning from the ten-year-old. Or trying. Letting go of “promised joy” for a while, knowing grief and pain will pass.

This picture was taken on a really blustery day recently, at one of the boy’s lacrosse games. We weren’t dressed for the wind and the cold, I kept blowing into the back of Rebeka’s head to keep her warm.

IMG_0951

Someone gave us a nice, warm blanket shortly after this picture was taken. Oh, it felt so good, that blanket. I know there are so many people, ready to throw a blanket on us right now. Grateful for you.

5 thoughts on “Of Mice and Men

  1. Goodness, how you have grown as a woman, writer, mother, human. To be so close that we love abandon and yet able to step back and see with wisdom. I am humbled. Again.

  2. I have been following your story since the begining.but have not commented. sorry:( my heart is filled with so much emotion each time I read about Rebecca and your family. For I have a family of one mom and five kids I have helped to provide for and sponser 3 of them for school in Rwanda. But a little like you . I love them as my own and my heart aches to see them face to face. my oldest son has hiv and of course I have much concern for him always. It has been 7 yrs now. we write often and I get a letter and pic about 2 months . The closer it gets to Rebecca going back home my heart aches for you. I know it will be joyful to see all you have done for her giving her new life. and she will be happy to see her mom and family. But I also know it would be impossible for you not to miss her. because you have loved her so much. I just want you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you as you go thru that transition. blessings and In kindness, mary

    • Wow, Mary, thank you for sharing about the family you sponsor. Letting go and saying goodbye will be hard, but it will be good, to imagine Rebeka running and playing back home will be hope fulfilled.

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